did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
