The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
why is half of my head shaved?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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