I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize