Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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