but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
