My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
