I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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