Soap is not a condiment
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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