Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
