I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize