Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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