Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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