i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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