This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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