I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize