It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
