More tranny stories later!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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