its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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