I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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