i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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