Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
