Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
