Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
