you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
honey bunches of taint.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Shame - the story of my life.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
