Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
