I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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