there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
