Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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