last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i've created a new STD.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
