Me too!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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