My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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