Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
