Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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