ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My penis needs a shock collar
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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