A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize