I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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