i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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