My nipple is on Facebook.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize