just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
