Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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