haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up under a house in Key West
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