White coat. Heels.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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