It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
