dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
