Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
