Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize