Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
