her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
