He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
