you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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