Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You took a bar mat shot.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I want to be your penis for a week.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
