You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
