btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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