32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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