either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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