just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
