He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
