No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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