And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize