The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize