Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize